“I Don’t Want to Be a Burden”

It’s a phrase I hear often.

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden.”

“I didn’t want to make you do extra work.”

Sometimes it’s about asking for more pressure. Sometimes it’s less pressure. Sometimes it’s the table temperature, an extra blanket, lighter blanket, a tissue, a drink of water, a bolster adjustment, a bathroom break, or simply needing to cough, sneeze, stretch, or reposition.

And every time, my response is the same:

You are not a burden.

In fact, speaking up is one of the best things you can do during your massage.

For many of us, taking care of other people’s needs becomes second nature. We spend our days making sure everyone else is comfortable, happy, and taken care of. We learn not to ask for too much. We learn not to inconvenience anyone.

Then we climb onto the massage table and sometimes bring those same habits with us.

We tolerate the table being a little too hot.

We ignore that the face cradle needs adjusting.

We wish the pressure were different but decide to “just deal with it.”

We need to clear our throat but worry about interrupting the session.

We spend our massage making sure we’re being a “good client.”

But here’s the thing:

This time is for you.

Not for me. Not for anyone else.

You don’t have to earn your comfort. You don’t have to apologize for having needs. You don’t have to stay uncomfortable to avoid inconveniencing someone.

The goal of a massage session isn’t for you to quietly endure whatever happens.

The goal is for you to be as comfortable, relaxed, and supported as possible.

If you’re cold, tell me.

If you’re hot, tell me.

If the pressure isn’t right, tell me.

If you need another pillow, a tissue, a moment to cough, a blanket adjustment, or anything else that would help you settle in, tell me. Please.

I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.

In fact, I appreciate it.

Because every adjustment that helps you feel more comfortable helps your body relax.

And when your body relaxes, the session becomes more effective.

Your shoulders soften.

Your breathing deepens.

Your nervous system settles.

Your body begins to feel safe enough to let go.

That’s what we’re after.

Not perfection.

Not endurance.

Comfort.

Safety.

Relaxation.

So the next time you find yourself thinking, “I don’t want to be a burden,” I’d like to offer you a different thought:

Taking up space is not being a burden.

Having needs is not being a burden.

Asking for what helps you feel comfortable is not being a burden.

Your massage is one of the few times in life where you don’t have to take care of everyone else.

For an hour or two, you get to simply receive care.

And that is exactly what you’re here for. 🩵🌿

Progress at the pace of peace.